Slinging Sammy Darnold
Last night I was playing pool with a couple neighbors and they noticed how invested I was in the Sunday Night game between the Lions and the Vikings. I was twiching left and right on every incompletion when the Vikings had a goal to go situation. I got the sense neither of them were football fans.
Are you a fan of either team -- they asked me.
No. I'm an LA Rams fan.
Did you bet on this game? -- they asked me.
No. I didn't bet on this game.
Are you playing in fantasy -- they asked me.
I do play fantasy football but almost every league's season is over in week 17, I was eliminated from the playoffs anyway, and honestly... I came to this realization that gambling and fantasy actually make me kinda hate live sports. I started to ramble.
The thing about fantasy is it will drive you crazy. You start caring about shit that no sane sports fan, and we're already a crazy group BTW, should ever care about. It goes way beyond wanting your own players to ball out. You remember that your opponent is starting a certain defense and you eyeball that game and you see the opposing team going against that certain defense and they're about to score but they did the thing where they fumbled at the goaline and it's a touchback and that fucken shit drives me INSANE even if it's only worth 2 points at most -- my response.
I probably started raising my volume in the middle of that ramble so my neighbors now know "oh he's that kind of fan" and yes, I am.
And then on the other hand, you have straight gambling on the spread or the over/under totals. I stopped doing that a long time ago. It would seem totally up my alley considering my gambling background and my huge sports fandom but I have no desire to have these two things co-mingle. No amount of money on the line could ever amount to the burning diehard passionate I carried for the Dodgers' quest for a World Series champiosnhip. I have no edge in sports betting nor any desire to achieve one through research, so where does sports betting fit for me? It's neither fun nor lucrative. It just adds to frustration, just like fantasy football, so NO THANKS.
So that brings me to my point... if I'm not rooting for my team, not gambling, and not playing fantasy, why do I care about this Vikings/Lions game for the #1 seed?
Honestly. I just love the game for pure reasons. I love the storylines of sports. It beats scripted TV 99% of the time, in terms of getting me invested. And here's where I get to our titular character. I love Sam Darnold and I can't quit on him. He's a comeback story.
Let me timeline the story of Sam.
Big USC football fan here, first of all. Went to games as a kid with my dad.
2016 season. USC starts 1-3 and makes a QB change. It's a guy named Sam and he balls out of nowhere, revives our crappy season, and wins Rose Bowl MVP. The hype starts to go off the charts. He has all the tools that previous USC first round QBs didn't (except for Carson Palmer, who was the prototypical #1 pick). He's gonna be the guy for us. I just know it.
2017/2018--Heisman hopes and #1 pick overall whispers for Sam but he has a downtick season and USC's season falls apart early on. I blame it on Clay Helton. Don't make me write about the last 10 years of USC football, it sucks. Nonetheless he's still the #3 overall pick to the NY Jets. That's cool, I live in NYC and maybe he's their savior?
2018-2020--The first 3 years as a pro are not good for Sam. I knew the Jets were doomed when they were hired Adam Gase. What a clown show organization. Sam flashes serious talent for short-term stretches but can't quite put it all together. He's known for the "seeing ghosts" moment. They let him go and most people write him off as a bust.
I watched almost every Jets game because of Sam. No fan should ever have to go through that.
2021-2022--Sam's traded to the Carolina Panthers and named the starting QB. There's hope he can finally make it in a better organization. He starts off well and there are some "Sam Darnold REDEMPTION??" early headlines... but unfortunately, he flames out again. Below average in every passing statistic. We didn't know it at the time but the David Tepper-era Panthers were also a bottom-5 NFL organization to be at. Sam never had a chance. BTW, Tepper is the most notable of the new-age hedge fund manager sports owners who very clearly sucks. Before Tepper, you would've wanted a hedge fund sports owner like Guggenheim Partners or Stevie Cohen.
Now Sam's a free agent and nearly everyone with a brain labels him a bonafide first round QB bust. He's had two chances and it hasn't happened. At this point, even I have to concede 'It's Over' for him.
2023--Sam's stock is at rock bottom lows and he can only apply to be a backup QB. He signs with my least favorite team, the 49ers, to play under arguably the league's #1 QB-guru in Kyle Shanahan. Good career choice for him to learn that offense. He only plays a tiny amount of the season and his 1-year contract expires without renewal.
2024--Sam is signed as a "bridge QB" for the Vikings, meaning he's just a temporary starter until their #1 pick, JJ McCarthy, learns the ropes. He supposedly has a great training camp but nobody wants to be fooled for a third time given Sam's track record. For the first ever Sam has a good coach, Kevin O'Connell (who runs a similar offense [Outside Zone and Play-Action] to his prior coach Shanahan), and a good supporting cast--notably All-Pro superstar receiver Justin Jefferson.
...and fast forward to this week.
Vikings, who many picked to finish dead last in the NFC East, are sitting at 14-2 with a chance to win the division and the #1 seed. Sam's earned his first Pro Bowl nod and has career highs in all passing stats--first 4000 yard season, first season with 30+ pass TDs, QB rating of 100+ in 13/16 starts. Literally every other video in my YouTube algorithm looks like this:
...and I unapologetically consume all of them.
SAM FUCKING DARNOLD. I ALWAYS BELIEVED!!! It's been my favorite story of this 2024 NFL season. Heading into the SNF game, I was drunk on the Sam kool-laid. The Lions defense was not looking good lately, Sam's been on fire, and he's gonna rip their throats out!
...only to have what was maybe his worst start all season, with the Vikings losing 31-9. Sam overthrew almost every single big pass opportunity in the game. He got nervy and lost command of his fastball. The pressure got to him I think. I hadn't felt so hurt by the outcome of a game, one in which my primary team wasn't involved, in a long time. My neighbors could see it and I tried to explain why, but I don't know if they get it. That's why I'm here writing this out.
Is it over? Has the clock turned midnight and now Sam's turning back into a pumpkin right before the most important games of the season? I don't know. I'm worried it was all false hope. All the things that made Sam a bust in his previous stints--erratic accuracy, questionable decision making, happy feet, holding the ball too long against pressure--it returned all at once when the stakes were the highest. This is very upsetting for me. I'm way too invested in someone who I will never meet and someone who's life I have zero control or influence over. But I guess that's why I'm into sports, not because of degenerate gambling or bullshit fantasy football. The highest highs will come before what seem like the lowest lows so I am hopeful for him... but here's my upcoming dilemma.
Because of that loss, I now have to see Sam play against my actual favorite team, the LA Rams, in the first round of the NFL Playoffs. It's conflicting. I'm not as big a Rams fan as a Dodgers/Lakers fan but I will be rooting for them to advance even if it means Sam's getting knocked out. I'm sorry Sam, I hope you ball out in a 45-40 shootout loss and resign with Minnesota for a huge bag in the offseason. Then ball out in 2025 and win MVP. Please show the haters you're for real.