Part-time trading -- is it a trap?
(this was written by dictation)
Part-time trading. Is there a happy medium for me or is it really just a delusion? For the better part of my 15 years of trading, I have always been a high emotional bandwidth trader. Charts, prices, quotes, stock symbols – they all take up a big chunk of real estate in my mind. It’s very difficult to turn that off. I find this attention sucker creeping back into my life as I ramp up active trading, and I desperately wish I could just turn it off. To me, this would critical to increasing well-being and happiness. Boom. No more trader thoughts dominating out in my mind as I do things that actually enrich my life instead.
Sometimes I think that if I really want to be happy, I need to just quit trading cold turkey. Not even doing part-time approach or current "lazy" approach. If I'm going to do part-time, it has to be super super Duper part-time, which takes commitment and discipline in its own right. I managed to get close to that idea in Q3/Q4 of 2024 when I aimed to not trade and I would only take instinct plays to make $100K and then leave.
2025 has been different in the sense that I have regressed back to active daytrading that requires a lot of attention and emotional bandwidth. I'm fighting for price. I'm analyzing and reevaluating channels and ranges. I'm executing a whole bunch of orders scalping or recycling shares. It takes a toll, man. My shoulders ache. My brains reward system is all screwed up. I end the day feeling like a hollowed husk of myself. I don't feel like I can be present mentally in conversations. All my energy was exhausted trying to make $.10 here $.20 there 5% here. Whatever.
I had a modest goal entering into this year and I have met that goal. I could just stop right now and do things that make me happy. Yet, there's just huge gravitational pull to my computer and my trading platforms every single morning. I just find a way to click buttons and whatever happens... happens. There isn't a lot of purpose or intentionality or fulfillment. There is no goal and no pursuit of excellence. I'm just there clicking away and keeping myself busy. I don't need the money. I don't find any joy in doing any of this.
I know, what a tragedy right? This trader, who can't stop making money – no matter how washed he is. So he shows up and keeps making a doctor salary in a matter of a few months. I'm not trying to paint myself as a tragedy. This is just where I am in my life and the current conflict that concerns me right now. I want to live a happy life and too much trading is in direct conflict with that goal. I'm trying to find a happy part-time medium.